How to Set Goals That Actually Stick (part 2) - Worst Case Scenario

In order to set goals that actually stick, you must release resistance to what you don’t want.

This is a follow-up to my previous post on How to set goals with the Signature Method. It’s a shorter post, because this week I had a very long paper to write for school, and I’m also working on a long-ass solar plexus subliminal for you guys (which comes with a lot of roadblocks because there are so many common concepts in today’s society and in the spiritual field that directly contradicts the solar plexus – so I’m trying to use affirmations that will actually work but won’t be too inaccessible for new people).

In the future, I will most likely write seven separate blog posts on signs that your chakras are blocked because there are so many misconceptions about these things. But honestly, I could write books upon books about this subject.

Anyway – working through the worst case scenario. Let’s go.

What Is The Worst Case Scenario?

This is essencially What if my manifestation dosen’t work? or alternatively What if my fears comes true?

There is a common misconception in many spiritual circles that we should avoid thinking about the worst case scenario at all costs. To always affirm, affirm, affirm and just ignore any doubts you might have regarding your manifestation.

But here’s the thing; in trying to affirm for something that you do not believe – you actually create more resistance (and also pay more attention to) the worst case scenario. The more it will cling to you.

The only way to release resistance against the worst case scenario is to find some kind of acceptance for it. In doing so, your mind stops actively trying to avoid this outcome – which means you stop resisting it – which means you’ll be able to focus on what you actually want.

Because even in avoiding what you don’t want – you are still focusing on it.

If I told you to simply affirm the opposite, it would be like telling you not to not think of a pink elephant. No, stop thinking about it. Do not imagine a pink elephant.

Impossible, no?

How To Release Resistance To The Worst Case Scenario

Validate Your Fear

You need to treat fear the same way as I’ve told you to treat any other emotion. You need to learn to sit with it – to be compleatly present with the emotion.

Sometimes, emotions are not rational – and you need to experience them as irrational and still validate them.

Why? Because some of thease fears and doubts were created by a child – and since you are unaware of them, they have never been examined by an adult mind.

Once upon a time, you had an experience that made you conclude something about the world. Since these conclusions were originally made by a child and never revisited by your adult self (with an adult lens and perspective), they have remained the same in your subconscious until now.

Some of the thoughts will be as rational as an emotional child will be. Treat the emotions with kindness, honesty – never dismiss them, but create enough mental clarity to understand that just because something isn’t rational does not mean it isn’t valid and reasonable to fear it.

I want you to be completely present with yout emotion until it naturally ebbs out – to dive straight and deep into what hurts. We’re not here for toxic positivity bullshit; because it just dosen’t work.

Here’s a quick guide that helped me be present with my emotions:

Mentally scan your body. If you have trouble connecting to your emotions, then scan the senses instead (are you tense, are you hungry, smells, tastes, sensations, etc). Because it’s a step in the right direction.
If you find a place in your body where there’s a sensation – then imagine energy expanding around that place in your body as you take a deep breath. Imagine your energy sort of enveloping the bodypart and literally hold space for it. Just focus on the part, imagine energy enveloping it, then let it be there, let it shift, let it do whatever it needs to do.
If you have a strong surge of emotion from this, then shift your energy so it continues enveloping whatever part of your body that the emotion expresses itself through. Take a deep breath, and practice sinking/diving deeper into the emotion. Almost like you allow yourself to sink below water.
Describe the emotion to yourself, take a note of visuals or associations that come up for you.
Validate the emotion: ‘Thank you for being here. It’s ok to feel this way’.
Do this repetedly until the emotion naturally ebbs out.

In order to release resistance to a worst-case scenario, you must practice identifying why you feel what you feel. This is a skill – and you can practice it.

If you weren’t taught to process your emotions in healthy ways, then no shit you can’t do it.

The practice is to, whenever you have an emotion (including fear) continue asking yourself why, why, why?

The answer that has you feeling disgustingly vounerable and uncomfortable is usually when you’ve come to something close to the truth.

The truth should feel settled, soothed, centered – like a deep knowing or a sense of realization.

What Is Your Worst Case Scenario?

Try to identify the worst case scenario. I like to do this through the anti-vision. If you’re a visual person like myself, you can even make an anti-vision board.

Identify your worst nightmare, put it to words, to the page, record your voice, talk to a friend or proffessional – get it out somewhere. Make it very, very clear – what is precisely the outcome that you don’t want?

Why the hell would you put yourself through this? Because it helps you identify and face your fears head-on. You’re putting a name to an elusive, abstract nightmare whose power is your lack of awareness of it. As long as you don’t turn to look at the monster chasing you, it can be as irrational, provoking and abstract as it wants.

And without knowing the fear, you can’t do anything to prevent it from happening.

Many of us are stuck in a limbo because we desire something greatly, but our fear of facing the worst-case scenario is holding us back. So, put a name to the face of your worst nightmare.

If you want to learn journalling practices such as morning pages, and read a beginner-friendly book on journaling and self-awareness practices – then I recommend The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.

Identify Why The Worst Case Scenario Would Be So Bad.

Why would the worst case scenario be so bad?

I want you to go to extremes. I want you to dare to face the most extreme circumstances your mind has conjured up. Why? Because when you understand why, you can reclaim your free will. When you understand why, you can identify the core values and the core fears that drive you – and you can make a consious choice.

Why would loosing those friends be so bad? What does it mean for you?
Why would loosing that job be so bad for you?
Why would having no money be so bad?
Why is being homeless so bad?

Like, even the extremes, like homelessness – is still a choice you can take. No, I’m not encouraging you to be homeless. But I’m blasting your limits, I’m giving you the space to sit with this – sit with the idea that you always have a choice.

Hate your job? Then be homeless – live with friends or go to shelters. Or get a sugar daddy. Or sell everything and go live on a self-sustaining farm. Or travel across the globe to volunteer for free housing.

I want to give you the space that you never gave yourself: to accept the unacceptable, and to realize that even if you now choose to do none of the (brilliant) ideas above, you still have that choice.

Perhaps, upon seeing the ideas above, you realize that you actually do value your job – perhaps for the security, perhaps for the value of the work in and of itself.

Perhaps you saw the ideas above and realized that you can go after what you want, if you are willing to take the consequences of what might happen if you fail.

No matter where thease words meet you – know that you always have a choice.

Find Ways To Make The Worst Case Scenario Manageable

Meet your needs NOW. This will reduce desperation for the desired outcome. Deprivation will always lead to desperation and resistance against failure. Move in the direction of meeting your needs now to the best of your ability (need for connection, security, freedom, autonomy, rest, etc). Whatever need you believe your current life is depriving you of, do the best in your ability to find ways to meet it now.
And even if you don’t believe you can move in ways that can meet your needs: When you take even the tiniest step toward the frequency of meeting your need, more opportunities and options will be presented for you to meet it further, and further, and further. It’s ok of you meet your need only fractionally right now, because in doing so, you will manifest more opportunities to meet it further. Hang in there, Dove.

Accept Your Pain.

I spoke about this in depth in the blogpost How to find your purpose 101.

You will never find a perfect path.

Accept the pain. Because every single decision you make will come with pain. And if you don’t become aware of that pain now, you risk avoiding it the moment that it arrives in the middle of your journey. This is what you could call gates – where old energy surfaces to be resolved before you reach a “new level”. Sign up for the newsletter to get notified when the blogpost on signs that you’re manifesting your dream life comes up.
- Going to sleep earlier means sacrificing the precious time of leisure you have in the evening.
- Becoming a veterinarian means a lot of mental energy toward studying.
- Becoming famous means a lot of public scrutiny and unwanted exposure
- Entering a relationship means risking the vounerability that comes with intimacy

Otherwise, you create an energetic contradiction (check out the post Taking action when manifesting for more on this).

Create Support Systems

And I know this will feel very counterproductive to anyone in the spiritual field who has been fed the idea of ‘affirm, affirm, affirm’.

But here’s what you need to know: when we have resistance to something, we’re still subconsiously focused on it because we’re actively avoiding it. By creating security systems that eases your resistance against failure; you’ll ultimately remove its pull, power – and therefore be able to pour more mental energy into what you do want, instead of what you don’t want.

So What Is A Security System?

A security system is essencially a guarantee that even if your plan fails, you will still get your needs met.

What can a security system look like?

A social group and belonging that will be there unconditionally, no matter if you succeed or not.
A financial emergency fund.
A backup plan that feels ok for you (at least for a short time).
Security systems that ensures you get your needs met even if you have a mental low: Places where people regularly expect you to show up, tidiying up for 20 minutes every evening in case you get sick so your house will still be manageable, neighbors to ask for help, etc).

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